Shameful Stories and Spicy Lovers on CdM

Brandon Hall

I’m a little loaded from the night’s fiesta del tequila, so I’m gonna let you in on an embarrassing little anecdote related to the holiday.  Sometime around the turn of the millennia, I was sitting with my brother and his roommate, Trey.  The topic turned to Trey’s upcoming birthday, on May 5th.  I said, to no one in particular, something along the lines of “Did you ever notice how Cinco de Mayo always seems to fall at the beginning of May?” (Shameful, I know…)  Both of them looked at me, dumbfounded.  “Uh, what do you think ‘Cinco de Mayo’ means?”   Until then, I’d never really stopped to think about it.  It could’ve been a holiday celebrating a sink full of mayonnaise, for all I knew.  As I’m sure you can imagine it was pretty funny coming from a guy who acts like a know-it-all.

Shulman and Erik Estrada

This year, having sworn-off mayonnaise, I spent CdM at T&T at Luxor, where I was stepping-and-repeating with, amongst others, Angelica Bridges, the buxom redheaded star of Fantasy, whom I was convinced was named ‘Alicia’ (which is only funny if you’re familiar with the song-stylings of Alicia Bridges, the lesbian chanteuse who sang “I Love the Nightlife (Disco Round)”), prop-comic Carrot Top (whom I ran into once on crutches, in the basement of New York’s fabulous performance-art venue, Jackie 60; and whose bit about Katherine Hepburn’s clothes-hanger never fails to crack me up), and – the man of the hour – Mr. Erik Estrada, star of CHiPs, the MGM hit that ran for six seasons on NBC, from 1977-1983.  The venue on the second-floor mezzanine of Luxor was packed, but Estrada made it a point to stop and hug all the ladies and shake hands with the guys – exactly what patrons want in their celebrity host.  Nice guy!

Hotty shot-girl Carly

My buddy, Gary Frey, was hosting a Cinco de Mayo supper, and I was all too delighted to join him.  Also present was the always charming Dr. Jeffrey Roth (if you’re in the market for a lift, suck, or tuck – Jeff’s your guy!) with his brother, Jack.  Then there were some particularly attractive ladies and a couple other guys, but frankly, by this point I was paying more attention to the cocktails than people’s names.  One drink in particular, the Spicy Lover, is nothing short of sensational.  It’s basically a spicy cucumber margarita, but with some extra flair and quite a bit of zest.  If you like your tequila, I highly recommend the Spicy Lover.

Mini Pancho Villa

In all seriousness, you’ve gotta love a city where it’s not enough to have Mini Britney Spears and Mini Vanilli – but also Mini Pancho Villa, who throws-on his zarape and waxes his handle-bar moustache for just such an evening.  There were people getting air-brushed tattoos, and seemingly everyone was in a sombrero.  Various contests were taking place, throughout the night, and the venue was abuzz.  Fortunately, I was able to soak-up the tequila with a smorgasbord of mini sirloin soft tacos drizzled with lime, tender chicken enchiladas in a particularly tasty mole poblano.  But, all good things come to an end, so I bid everyone “¡Olé!” and came home to write this for you.  Buenas noches!