Some disclaimers, before plunging into this essay…  To wit, I am not a religious person.  I’m what I refer to flippantly as “socially Jewish” (in other words, if it involves food or gifts, I’m all over it; and otherwise have done my best to avoid going to Temple, except for the occasional bar/bat mitzvah, wedding, and/or funeral. 

Add to that that my mother was the impetus behind the soon-to-be-trending hashtag #ButMomWereJewish (the result of decades of her taking my brother and me to get our picture taken with Santa, making a big deal about Christmas Dinner, shepherding us to Easter Egg hunts); while my father used to pull us out of school, in the second week of December, in order to avoid our neighbors’ seizure-inducing display of oddly-timed, multi-colored Christmas lights.

Me?  I absolutely adore Christmas.  The pageantry, the food, the revelry, the carols, the gingerbread houses...  Tree skirts!  Hello?  Hey - any excuse to wear fine jewelry with pajamas, while gorging myself, in rooms hung with tinsel?  I say, gimme more of that!      

Furthermore, I try to avoid being what my father would refer to as a “shit-stirrer;” but occasionally, something vexes me to the point that I have to question it or my sanity.  So, here goes…

I appreciate all the attempts that have been made by America, these past sixty or so years, to accommodate Jewish kids by integrating Chanukah into the Christmas Holidays (because, let’s face it – from a religious standpoint, the Festival of Lights doesn’t even rank in Judaism’s Top 5…).  Now, I live in a lovely gated-community, in Las Vegas; and every year, the decorations (which are, until the actual week of Christmas, decidedly non-denominational “holiday” decorations, all in very uniform and tasteful ivory lights) come-out, on the first of December.   

Until last year, the sole nod to Chanukah was a pair of sad, blue dreidels, with white writing, propped-up, just inside the main gate.  They’d go up with the rest of the decorations, but were brought down the day after Chanukah.  Then, last year, in place of the two dreidels, stood a bright and shiny menorah. 

Well, here’s my issue (actually, it’s an issue in two parts) – and I’m gonna be the first to admit, I don’t know the right answer, or if I’m making too much of a nothing issue, or what (so take that for what it’s worth).  Unlike Christmas, there isn’t a Chanukah “season” (save for those eight nights wherein the miracle of the oil is commemorated).      As such, putting-up a menorah on December 1st, when Chanukah isn’t for more than two weeks, is akin to hanging Valentine’s Day decorations in January.

So, every time I drive into the community, I see the menorah, and think to myself, “Oh, well it’s the thought that counts!”  Or, if I’ve just been with my Mississippi-born sister-in-law, I think to myself “Oh, bless their hearts!”  But inevitably I end-up at the same place – that realization that the erroneous menorah usage kind of defeats the purpose (or, at the very least, represents the missed opportunity at a lovely gesture).

Moreover, I think the whole megillah could be nipped in the hamentoschen, if the community would light the chanukiah (aka - the Chanukah menorah), but leave the light bulbs in each of its branches unscrewed (and therefore, unlit), until the appropriate night.   

It’s not like I take it as a personal affront; but at the same time, I think it looks absurd.  And it’s just so easily rectified.

But I want you, to tell me: What do you think?

Menorah Madness
Chanukah – The Festival of Lights
December 16th – December 24th

Get into it!
#ButMomWereJewish