My saga started thusly.  Knowing the MISSONI for Target collection was going on sale on the morning of Tuesday, September 13th, I had my alarm set for 4:40am.  As a safety, I had Jacob set his alarm for the same time.  I was taking no chances.  Why 4:40am?  Because Target stores open at 8am, and I wanted to be awake and alert for when Target.com released the Kraken, at 5am PST.

So, there we are, clicking away, and I was stoked.  I had the large 7’ x 10’ Zig Zag Rug and the Men’s Comfort Bicycle in my Cart; when all of a sudden, the site crashed.  This was roughly 5:15am.  For whatever reason, my Cart showed that I still had my two items (although it wouldn’t show what they were), so I wasn’t particularly worried.

Floral Candles from the MISSONI for Target collection (We have 'em)

Leaving things in God’s hands, we went to “our” Target, on Spring Mountain and Rainbow.  I figured this was a pretty good idea since most of the “cool mommies” would be headed to Boca Park (after carpool drop-off), while the Spanish Trail crowd would head to the new Target Greatland at Flamingo and I-215.  What I hadn’t predicted was that we would overshoot the mark, and that the parking lot would be deserted.  Not a single car, other that the cluster of employee vehicles, off to the side.  So, we went to breakfast at Big Dogs.  Upon returning at 7:15am, we were STILL the only people there.  When the store finally opened at 8am, it was only me, Jacob, and a cute girl with her baby.  That’s it!

Various boxes, pencils and papergoods from the MISSONI for Target collection (Mom found it all, in Austin)

We went inside, and save for a couple of clothing fixtures, none of the MISSONI stuff was out.  I asked a few after dealing with a couple who had no idea what I was even talking about (“Oh.  You mean Massimo?”), I found a nice woman named Nicole who told me that there was stuff in the back, but it wasn’t unpacked, yet.  “Take me to it!” I declared, emphatically.

4-piece Patio Set from the MISSONI for Target collection (I didn't get it, but Angela did...)

We trucked to the back, and I waited while she went through the double doors.  After what seemed like an impossibly long time (6 minutes is an eternity when staring at Smurf plushies and Star Wars figurines), she returned with a palate, piled with cardboard shipping boxes.  “I’ll take it!” I said.  She looked at me like I was nuts.

Online ad for the MISSONI for Target collection

“I have to unpack it, and take everything out of the boxes,” she said, wielding her box-cutter like a samurai;  whilst I, tapping my foot like a crack-head jonesing for some rock shrieked “Just put it in the cart!” convinced that at any second, the store would be under siege from savvy shoppers.  But still, nobody came.

After paying for the contents of our three carts, and loading-up our SUV, Jacob and I decided to take a run at the Target on Flamingo and I-215.  After all, it wasn’t even 9am.  We did okay (lots of presents for my two-year old niece), but it was pretty picked over.Now, while I was in Home Furnishings, my better (and far more sensible) half was over in Apparel.  We’d strategized the split with all the cunning of Sun Tzu, and had taken a divide-and-conquer approach.

MISSONI for Target commercial featuring Margherita Missoni

After 15 minutes, my cart had runneth-over, and I raced toward the checkout like a crazed contestant on Shop ‘til You Drop.  Meanwhile, there was only one line open, and the girl was whining about taking her break.  Am I in the Twilight Zone?!?! I thought to myself, as I swerved around her line and careened to a stop, in front of the Customer Service counter.

Once we returned home, Jacob unloaded the car, and I jumped online.  My cart still showed two items, but wouldn’t let me checkout.  Then, as I was staring at the screen, it blinked and my cart showed only one item – but still wouldn’t tell me what that one item was.  Unfortunately, I had a luncheon to attend at Stirling Club, so off I went.

The conclusion of this epic tale is pretty funny, and involves a lunch meeting for one of the city’s most highly esteemed non-profit organizations, a curious photo-shoot, a trans-Atlantic chat with Angela Missoni, and a highly motivated pair of industrious Bentley-driving/Louboutin-wearing young ladies-who-lunch on a quest to a not-so-upwardly mobile part of town.  As Dolly Parton said in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, "Y'all come back now; y'hear?"
 

MISSONI for Target

Get into it!