Roasts are fun, and with any luck, funny.  But never in the many, many roasts that I’ve seen, have I ever witnessed such venomous attacks, aimed at one of the roasters, as I did toward Ann Coulter at the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe.  Not that I felt they were unwarranted; but still…  Having watched it, I can finally say that I agree with one thing said by Ann Coulter: It should’ve been called the “Roast of Ann Coulter, with Rob Lowe” (and I'm here to tell you, it was magnificent).

Following is a chronological list all of the Coulter-aimed barbs, from the evening, by roaster.  Be forewarned – they are decidedly vicious, hateful, and mean-spirited; just like the person at whom they were aimed.

David Spade
"Is Pete white? Is he black? Ann Coulter needs to know, so she can decide if she hates him."

Pete Davidson
"Ann Coulter, if you're here who's scaring the crows away from our crops?"
“Ann describes herself as a polemicist, but most people call her a c**t.  (A racist c**t.)”
"You know, last year we had Martha Stewart, who sells sheets; and now we have Ann Coulter, who cuts eye holes in them."

Rob Riggle
"Holy shit, is that Ann Coulter? Ann Coulter is here, which can mean only one thing: Someone must've said her name three times. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."
“Fun fact – Ann Coulter has a big, angry bush.  No joke, that’s just a fun fact.”

 Jewel
"As a feminist, I can't support everything that's being said up here tonight; but as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I'm delighted."
"Jeff Ross is going to party like it's 1999: Ann Coulter is going to vote like it's 1899."
"Ann you do look great though.  You're almost as thin as Donald Trump's chance at winning the election."
"Last week, I was behind Ann Coulter, at Chipotle.  She ordered something to go. The entire kitchen staff. She was like, ‘Leave ... the country.’”
"Believe it or not, gay men love Ann Coutler. It's because two seconds into hearing her speak, they remember why they hate pussy."

Jimmy Carr
“Ann Coulter.  Here we go…”
"Ann Coulter is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-faced bitches alive.  But it's not too late to change, Ann: You could kill yourself."
"Ann Coulter's pussy (seriously, this gets classy); Ann Coulter's pussy is now so old and dry, that it’s just got a job drawing cartoons for The New Yorker."

Peyton Manning
"I'm not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. Congrats on that Ann! Great job!"

Nikki Glaser
“And without Fürher ado, Ann Coulter!”
“Oh, Ann.  What’s it like to be, like, a real-life supervillain?”
“I’d ask you how you sleep, at night; but I’d assume just upside-down in a robe of a hundred-and-one Dalmatians.”
"Ann Coulter has written eleven books. Twelve, if you count Mein Kampf."
“Ann’s been called things like a racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, a white supremacist – and that’s just while getting plowed, by Bill Maher.”
“The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.”
"At least I acknowledge the Holocaust.  Ann doesn't even think it happened."

David Spade
"And now a real treat, for fans of hate-watching..."
"Ann hopes the Republicans can hold-on to the House, so she can continue to haunt it."
"She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan."
"I haven't seen you laugh this hard, since Trayvon Martin got shot."

Ann Coulter
"I want to welcome everyone to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe."

Jeff Roth
"Ann, you have a face that would make doves cry."
"This is hard.  How do I roast somebody from Hell?"
"Bitch."
"And that voice!  It's like fingernails on a chalkboard, in an inner-city school, you wanna defund."
"Don't stare at me with that Roasting Bitch Face."
"Ann's against gay-marriage.  What's your thinking, on that?  'If I can't get a husband, they shouldn't, either?'"

Rob Lowe
"It's 56 days to Halloween. But I see that Ann Coulter is already in her skeleton costume."
"A lot of people have asked why Ann Coulter is here. Because the right-to-lifers wanted everyone to see what an abortion looks like, up-close."
"Ann, after seeing your set tonight, I think we've all witnessed the first bombing that you can't blame on a Muslim."

The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe
Comedy Central
Click HERE for info

Get into it!
#LoweRoast