I Guess Rita Hayworth Was Right about Shanghai

Chinese official denying us entry to her country

As those of you who’ve been keeping-up with the Misadventures of Michael are aware, Jake and I are being kept “prisoner” aboard our luxury liner, unable to disembark in Shanghai, all because I neglected to obtain our Chinese Visas.  Jeez!  Here’s a hot tip: the Chinese are particularly not amused by Americans taking their picture while denying said Americans access into their country.  Whatever…  It’s all rather absurd, and kind of a bummer, but I have refused to let it get me down.

One upside to the situation is the amount of quality time we get to spend in our rooms.  A week before embarking on our trip, Jacob and I were upgraded into a very beautiful penthouse suite that includes a bedroom, a living room/dining room, a spacious walk-in closet (enough for two gays for two weeks with room to spare), a spacious bathroom with a tub and a nicely sized shower, and a nice veranda.  It’s lovely, but I figured it needed a little Shulmanizing, so I spent the better part of the past week cajoling our butler into assisting me ganef arrangements of tropical flowers as well as a few orchid plants from around the ship; and now our rooms are now perfumed with the scents of stargazer lilies, anthuriums, birds of paradise, and various varietals of orchids.  (Jacob is convinced that I’m gonna land myself in “flower jail” which I think is hysterical.).

Flowers in our suite

Regardless, chilling-out en suite, on a bed of Anichini linens, next to the man I love, sipping champagne and playing DVDs of some of our favorite shows (including Law & Order, Soap, Vega$, Hawaii Five-O, The Muppet Show, The Closer, and Remington Steele) on the swiveling plasma-screen TV – well, it’s just the epitome of luxury.

Shanghai's skyline by night

The internet is a bit spotty, here in China, so I apologize for the sporadic posting.  But, we’ll be in Hong Kong, soon enough.  Check back, next time, when I describe teaching Yiddish to Jacob, hanging with Marc and Harry (whose taste in jewelry makes mine look timid), and playing B-I-N-G-O with the Jewesses.  Ahoy!